I’ll start

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  • thenextguy@lemmy.worldEnglish
    2·
    10 days ago

    You are a fluke of the universe.
    You have no right to be here.
    And whether you can hear it or not.
    The universe is laughing behind your back.

    Give up.

  • Chucklestheclown@hilariouschaos.comEnglish
    01·
    1 month ago

    I was flying on a plane and it was rough. Luggage was falling out of the overhead, drinks were flying. The guy next to me was a calm as a clam. He said he was an instructor at the air force academy. He said don’t panic till he does. I relaxed and calmly sat though the the remainder of the flight.

    When we were getting off the plane, he told the pilot, “Jesus I thought we were goners.”