Here’s Why I Decided To Buy ‘InfoWars’ By Bryce P. Tetraeder, Global Tetrahedron CEO ☞ https://theonion.com/heres-why-i-decided-to-buy-infowars/

And let me say, I really do see it as a family. Much like family members, our brands are abstract nodes of wealth, interchangeable assets for their patriarch to absorb and discard according to the opaque whims of the market. And just like family members, our brands regard one another with mutual suspicion and malice.

🤣

  • latenightnoir@lemmy.world
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    13 days ago

    Honestly, considering how much of a clown Alex Jones was, they have their work cut out for them if they want to compete at comedic levels!

    Either way, this may be the best news I’ve heard all year, thank you!

    • hamsterkill@lemmy.sdf.org
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      13 days ago

      I wonder if this gives them the rights to all of Infowars’ library of footage. Maybe they could “keep” Jones as a host by cutting up old clips kinda how South Park did with Isaac Hayes for Chef’s last episode.

      • Joeffect@lemmy.world
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        13 days ago

        Up for grabs at the auction were Infowars production rights and materials, the Infowars store, domain names, production equipment and other assets — including a Terradyne armored truck and a Winnebago motor home — that can be purchased in their entirety or in parts, according to the firm, ThreeSixty Asset Advisors. Jones broadcasts from the Austin, Texas, area.

        • Tanis Nikana@lemmy.world
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          13 days ago

          I’ll take the middle third of the Winnebago, just carve it out and drop it on Nick Fuentes’ lawn, thanks.

        • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
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          12 days ago

          Considering what The Onion has been able to do with manipulating video for the sake of comedy, I can’t wait to see what they do with any of their footage.

      • nova_ad_vitum@lemmy.ca
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        13 days ago

        I hope they own Jones’ likeness to the point where they can give DJs the rights to remix his shouts into something of value.

          • theangryseal@lemmy.world
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            13 days ago

            This just in! I’m turning my frickin’ self gay! I’m selling the supplements that will get you there too! The deep state wants to control us! NO MORE! You’re not gonna get my frickin’ dna to fight in your wars! You’re not gonna push us around!

            eats handful of supplements

            These Pro-homoerotics are literally the best on the market. I just now took them and I already want to tear my clothes off and throw the cameraman on this table!

            Help support InfoWars and fight the deep state! I can’t do this without you guys and now I want to do you guys!