First, I am a pan-sexual woman with severe ADHD and a sprinkling of BPD. If I have a meltdown or an episode, I am VERY sorry. Let me take 5, and I can apologize and be a reasonable human being again. None of this is an excuse, but it at least explains it. I assure you, I will be tearing myself apart with guilt and embarrassment for far longer than is healthy. I would be eternally grateful if you could have a little patience and not pour fuel on the fire. I would never wish any of these disorders on anyone. I will do my best.
Who am I? That is always a difficult question to answer as self introspection can be a rather painful and difficult exercise. I don’t believe we are always the same. We all change, but we do like to make the same choices over and over. If I had to sum myself up, I am a force of nature who cares too much.
Thankfully I suck at that, but holy crap it is prevelent in this industry. The alcohol abuse is cray. Doesn’t help when you travel constantly. I don’t travel much anymore, but the people who spend 90+% of the year in the field, while having a family, are fundamentally broken. Fun to party once in a while, but when they do this shit multiple times a week, I don’t understand.
Does Lua rank far below python for you? I have so much rage against it. At least with Python I don’t have to do a bunch of steps to just get it to do something. May take me a while to get through bad Python code, but Lua makes my eyes bleed and I begin to regret my life choices in trying to understand wtf these people wrote.
laughs in PLC
I always have parking considerations when suggesting places to go. I hate not getting parking instructions. I am perfectly content to park on the street as long as I can find it without stress.
If your backup cam has the little lines that curve when you turn the steering wheel, that will help. Otherwise, practice. Can maybe even get in and out of the vehicle a couple of times to get a good sense of space. Worst case you mess up and have to readjust a couple times.
I second docker. I do use the docker version on my server, but I use docker on my Mac all the time. I really enjoy not having to screw around and have to go through the process of installing certain things and docker desktop on Mac just works. I pretty much use homebrew or docker.
I think once my doctor started charging me money for being late or missing the appointment entirely, the consequences were enough to overcome. The number of times though for this exact scenario… Yeah, been there, done that. Timers, timers, and more timers.
No idea if it will help, as I am going to try it too, but we may need to put our keys and wallet in the good place before going to sleep when we have important things the next day. The only way I ever get to the airport on time is to:
The only other thing that helps me is Tile, so I can at least narrow down which room my keys or wallet is in. The little speaker can get kind of damaged on the wallet one, but the BT is fine.
The worst is trying to explain at how necessary the medication is. Having to explain that I cannot work without it
I use it as an embroidery tool instead.
This explains so much. Mine did the same and when it became too expensive to fix, I had to move on. The rust ate it alive and I had to replace the battery every year until I bought a more expensive battery and that one lasted 2-3ish. A lot of the plastic trim and bits around the license plate to hold the light became brittle and broke. It did not like winter temperatures at all.
Obligatory ADHD Storytelling:
When I was formally tested, I gave a similar analogy to the psychiatrist/ADHD specialist. He immediately told me he was stealing it as it was a really great way to explain it to others. It really does kind of explain the whole executive dysfunction part to others.
I get really frustrated trying to do math, “in my head”. I didn’t realize for a long time that the way I was trying to do it isn’t what everyone does. I can only do math on paper, so I am literally drawing on imaginary paper in the air while desperately trying to keep track of things to only have it slip away like sand and then starting over. I still do subtraction/addition like I was taught in elementary where you cross out the number and write the remainder or whatever above it.
Trying to do that on imaginary paper and keep track of the slashes and tiny numbers is torture. Especially when the damn paper keeps moving, colors fading out, and I can’t just make the number appear. No. I have to mentally draw the strokes of each digit like I am using a pencil. Oh, and my handwriting sucks, so I write numbers really slow. Have I randomly mentioned I fucking hate white boards? Now I have. I have nothing to leverage my hand or arm on.
Basically, trying to keep all of the noise out my head or at least on a similar task is really hard at times. It is like being in a crowded restaurant and each sound gets the same amount of attention. Every step, clink, swish, creak, conversation, air movement, cars outside, all gets an equal amount of attention. Imagine a flat equalizer in a sense.Your brain is supposed to be able to filter that shit out so you can talk to the person in front of you. We don’t get that luxury. Medication is a damn miracle. It isn’t perfect, but having even a fraction of peace in my head is enough.
You assume I check my email.