This has already been happening on the Web for quite some time. For example Microsoft Clarity records everything you do on those dodgy Web sites you visit. And they assign a universal identifier to you that can be correlated with the IDs Google and your device have already created and broadcast to profile you.

And you think “oh but I use x, y, and z to prevent tracking”. Guess what: They make your browser do nonsense tasks in the background to benchmark your hardware and then assign a UUID to you based on that.

The only thing that can help this situation is privacy legislation with real teeth.

What is it like to live in a place with privacy legislation? Here we must sell our healthcare data for food, and sell our food for healthcare.

I remember back in my teenage days, I tried to track some menstruations. It didn’t end well.

Pretty sure they don’t need any help to make that IPO a disaster.

I don’t understand why people think OP doesn’t know it’s satire.