Are there ways that you are able to signal queerness?
People keep assuming my partner and I are two straight women, and it’s just awkward sometimes. I know my partner would like if people saw us as a visibly queer couple, so I was hoping for tips.
Usually I try to engage in “PDA” like holding hands or kissing in public, but even that doesn’t seem to always work (I have done this and had a waiter still assume we’re relatives rather than partners).
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drive a subaru outback
lol, I don’t think people will see my car usually, but noted!
the straights are so oblivious you might just have to wear a neon shirt with big blinking letters “were lesbians”
This thread is reminding me how much I miss /r/sapphoandherfriend.
For anyone unfamiliar, it was a meme community about historical erasure. Well, is, I suppose, but I don’t browse that site anymore.
we should bring it to Lemmy / PieFed!
“haha, a funny joke between friends”
this is so accurate, it’s really starting to feel this way
Do you want to signal to other queers or everyone? For other queers there’s the obvious - carabiners, etc. typical lesbian fare.
For everyone, I would have said being openly affectionate but you already tried that 😅
I think primarily the signals are intended for straight strangers, so we don’t keep getting mistaken as relatives or friends when going to a restaurant or interacting with various people.
The problem is other people, not how you’re presenting yourselves.
Some people have unconscious biases and will do mental gymnastics against acknowledging LGBT existences. And some people are just conscious bigots trying to ruin your day.
carabiners
TIL! BRB, off to the hardware store…
Visible rainbows? I think that’s a symbol even straight people know.
I can try it but straight allies wear rainbows too, at least I’ve seen it and don’t know if people will feel confident it signals the person I’m with is my partner. Maybe we need matching shirts or something 😆
Those “i’m with ->” shirts except it says whatever you call each other.
My gf and i get asked if we are sisters a lot. we look nothing alike.
yeahhh, the problem is people think my partner is my mom and I’m her daughter … hence the desire to uh, avoid that
I know my partner would like if people saw us as a visibly queer couple
One of yall is gonna need blue hair and an undercut.
/s kinda?
Just need one of those eyebrow lines now-a-days.
😭
Are you both femme presenting? Does one of you want to try the butch look or is that not your vibe?
I’m more femme than my partner, and my partner is definitely not full butch, so a straight person might read them as femme (they have long beautiful hair for example, but is more likely to wear a t-shirt and shorts, while I’m more likely to be wearing skirts and dresses and cute wraps, etc.). So between the two of us, I’m “the femme”, but the gender expression might lead people to see two femmes.
EDIT: I should say, because I’m a trans woman, I’m very much not into presenting butch, I have dysphoria and imposter syndrome so I probably go more femme to compensate and feel better in my own skin. This does leave it to my spouse to butch it up more, but that’s a challenge I think - they have a unique gender that combines both elements, but straights mostly read the fem parts and don’t pick up on the butch parts.
