For context: One of the rules in that community is that you aren’t allowed to post anything related to suicide. In a mental health community.

  • Spaceinv8er@sh.itjust.works
    347·
    1 year ago

    I know this is an unpopular opinion, but that’s because a good amount of the time it’s true…

    Relationships are a lot of work, but shouldn’t be hard. If your relationship is getting so difficult that you feel the need to post your issues on the Internet to get advice from strangers, your relationship is more or less done and haven’t really noticed it yet.

    If it’s a one off issue that you need some outside help to see another perspective, than breaking up is probably not the solution; however, if it’s habitual then yeah breaking up is probably for the best.

    We tend to have loss aversion and get trapped in the sunken cost fallacy with relationships and can’t see that it needs to end.

    That said, giving advice for a bad relationship is like seeing a person who has an addiction problem. That person needs to realize what it is, and no amount of advice can help.

    • Free Will Is A Lie@reddthat.comOPEnglish
      10·
      1 year ago

      I remember someone posting a asklemmy question about the “benefits of smoking” 🤦‍♂️

      I feel bad for the person

      Edit: I found the post, original post has been removed, but here’s my instance’s version that didn’t receive the deletion request: https://reddthat.com/post/822703

    • Graphine@lemmy.world
      2·
      1 year ago

      I really don’t think so and I can say that from experience.

      The reason I’ve posted about it before is because I can’t afford relationship counseling or even counseling for myself. And if I go to family, it’s hard for family to break away from that bias of defending you. So naturally you expect strangers to provide better advice.

      That being said, yes I agree. If you’re looking for advice over stuff that is habitual, it probably warrants a breakup. My issue is that r/relationshipadvice is so fucking horrible that nearly every single post the consensus is to break up, even over minor issues. That part pisses me off. And I respectfully disagree. A lot of relationships ARE hard, and it really just depends on the dynamics. That doesn’t mean it has to consist of constant arguments and disagreements though.

    • kameecoding@programming.dev
      42·
      1 year ago

      yeah I have a feelong the breakup immediately meme was started by a bunch of butthurt incel/meninist/redpiller types who would do such a thing in a relationship and don’t like it.

      • ThatWeirdGuy1001@sh.itjust.works
        51·
        1 year ago

        Hey now this has nothing to do with gender. There’s plenty of women out there that jump straight to “just break up” at the first sign of a problem.