spoiler
For people that don’t know this is not how you use Calipers
I remember when I first applied for a job in a fabrication/machine shop. One of the questions in the interview was “Do you know how to read a tape measure‽” followed by “demonstrate that you can use a tape measure” along with some other fun ones like “what is the difference between these two pieces of material” (one was aluminum, the other stainless) and other such things. I remember being surprised/disappointed that there were grown people who couldn’t read a tape measure.
I’ve worked in machine shops and drafting offices for years now, and I’m no longer surprised by people who can’t use basic measuring tools. Still disappointed though.
“what is the difference between these two pieces of material” (one was aluminum, the other stainless)
Did they expect you to identify which metals they were, or just that they were different metals?
I was expected to know that one was stainless steel and the other was aluminum, but not the specific grades of stainless or aluminum. Stainless and aluminum can look very similar when they’re dirty, and 300 series stainless won’t stick to a magnet just like aluminum won’t stick to a magnet. But if you pick them up or even rap on them with your knuckles you can tell the difference.
OK - now I’m curious, what were the most common mistakes people made reading a tape measurer? Because I’m having trouble working out how someone could screw that up lol
We had a guy we called “10/16” (ten sixteenths) because he was told to grab some 5/8" (0.625" or 16mm) steel plate, but he couldn’t find any he could only find 10/16" and 12/16".
People will count the little lines on the tape and not remember if they are 1/32, 1/16, or 1/8.
I think metric would help this.
Oh OK - that does make a bit more sense. Still not exactly Nobel prize material, but fucking up the fractions at least makes more sense than not knowing how to read numbers and count lines lol
Metric would help with everything lol. I dream of the day we finally make the switch
Yeah, fractions are dumb. Or I’m dumb and fractions are easy, but why don’t we split the difference and switch to metric?
I worked on a site with two carpenters once, and one would measure and the other cut. One guy would call out “inch and a quarter strong” or " inch and a quarter weak" etc. Meaning 1 inch and 3/8 or one inch and 1/8. Perfect cuts every time.
I like this
After having a customer chew us out for something that wasn’t our fault he had us follow him to another room to discuss some more work. He borrows my tape measure and tries to measure something on the wall and the tape keeps falling over and flexing. It finally hits him in the face and hands it back to me and says “I’m not familiar with this type of tool”. I think he saw our faces turn red and eyes water up as we were trying SOOO hard not to laugh.
Oh jeebus fucking christ. Sometimes the dumb hurts and then you get the existential dread knowing you’re about to have to call this moron. And, even better, they usually make more money than you.
So these guys are smart enough to read Vernier calipers, but dumb enough to measure like this?
I’d hazard a guess that they are also reading them wrong.
Anyone who works with clients can appreciate this one
They were trying to design a caliper holder that fits the jaws in that orientation, obviously. They need to fix this, send it back.
I am a certified blithering idiot and even I feel like a high society intellectual compared to this picture.
Judging by this, even if it’s the right size, they’ll probably install it wrong anyway, so why bother?
I hate that I have blurted this out during meetings before.
Idiots suck
This just tells me calipers should have 2 measuring bars on them, so gaps and other inside edges can be measured like this (maybe this already exists, idak)
Just flip it, the top bars are for measuring from the inside.
That’s what the two prongs at the top are for. Flip the caliper upside down, use the prongs to measure the inside dimension, and read it off the same scale.
Ah cool, didn’t notice those. Cheers
