In the field of computer science no matter how smart you think that you are, there is always a bigger fish. And the bigger fish is Von Neumann. He’s the final boss of the field.

It is my firm belief that any ethical culture should have a legally mandated “no, fuck off” button. You can keep the “no, thanks” or “maybe later” buttons but the “no, fuck off” button must be displayed prominently alongside them.

It’s not possible for a planet to explode! And if it was then the empire didn’t do it. And if they did then it was only because Alderan started it. And if they didn’t then they still deserved it.

Oh well if the empire is so bad why don’t you just leave?? Half of my family left just the other week, departing abruptly in the night. They didn’t even take any of their possessions or leave any notes, that’s how callous and brainwashed rebel sympathizers are!

I am sleepy, goer of to bed. I do battle with the modern world in the form of this phone that I cannot put down. It is simply too captivating. The steady march of time leads my thoughts to increasingly radical and negative patterns. My mind cannot be trusted in the bedtime hours.

I am the worst. A hollow shell playing at being human with no regard for the damage it will cause. My every action rings hollow against the world and everyone can see it. They know that I have no soul. Of all existence I am a wretch too cowardly to live yet too afraid to die.

One time I thought I’d turned green with envy (a SIN) but luckily it was just from all the lichen that had grown under my skin

Time is a two dimensional force. One axis represents “time” as we commonly experience. The other represents the amount of starch in my stomach. Consumption of potatoes (especially fried potatoes) creates a divergence point into multiple timelines. This is why I was late to my meeting this morning.

No I am the best. Everything that I do is good because it is something that I have done. Everything that I am part of is better for having me be a part of it. This power is available to you, should you have the will to believe it. No action of heaven or earth is for my detriment because all things work together for my good.

Cars are the ultimate mode of transportation. When I go to the store I drive my car. Then when I have to go from the parking lot to the store itself I drive another car. Then when I have to move around the store I drive another smaller car.

I keep telling you dude I didn’t eat your ice cream, that was Biden!

My hair was perfect before I left my house this morning, so Biden must have messed with it!

Okay yeah I don’t have my homework but that’s only because Biden ate it.

Estrogen is a performance enhancing drug. Studies have shown that a certain level of estrogen confers superhuman programming ability (source). Computer programming used to be dominated by women who naturally achieved this level of estrogenic enlightenment. Then men took it over through the merit-based system of systemic violence and discrimination. Now, however, we’re encountering more women who can control the levels of estrogen present in their bodies. There is no way to compete.

Transition is so dangerous! One time I transed myself and I felt happiness for the first time in my life. That’s a slippery slope to HEDONISM (bad and evil)!!

As a trans person myself I feel qualified to speak in this issue. We can all agree that the point of life is to suffer and create shareholder value and then die. It’s just Common Sense. That’s why when someone is already suffering, say because their very identity is denied to them and they are systemically discriminated against and an entire population is propagandized to hate them and view them as corruptive monsters, it’s vitally important to make them suffer more. As an added bonus, inflicting grievous harm upon the downtrodden is a healthy way for others to vent their anger!

What’s worse is that some people think that the point of life is not to suffer and create shareholder value and die! And they think that they can change that!? It’s Ridiculous! You should be suffering at all times in life because that is how it has been and Always Will Be. To suggest otherwise is when you deny Reality.

ALL ACTIONS IN LIFE HAVE CONSEQUENCES BUT I DO NOT HIDE BECAUSE OF THAT. I RECOGNIZE THE RISKS AND VENTURE ON REGARDLESS. LIFE’S MEANT TO BE LIVED AND MFER WE ARE GOING TO LIVE IT

I’m really disappointed that you’ve SOLD OUT to BIG FOOD. I come from a long line of RUGGED INDIVIDUALISTS and we don’t rely on being PARASITES and eating other things. We pull ourselves up by our bootstraps and synthesize our own energy. So sad that this generation just EXPECTS others to do that work for them.

All you need is dirt and sunlight. Dirt has nutrients. We apply manure to dirt to add nutrients. Why not skip that step and use the manure directly? It’s just more LIBERAL red tape! Join me in eating raw manure like a REAL PATRIOT.