I had to pay the trash company to take an old couch. They sent over a special truck that ate that sofa bed in seconds and all that was left on the road were some wood splinters. That was when I knew how I wanted to be disposed of after I die.
I’ve always said to dump me in a ditch somewhere, I’m not gonna care, I’ll be dead. If anybody pays for an expensive ass coffin for me, I will come back and haunt their ass.
You basically just rephrased multiple scenes with Frank in It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia…
“I mean, I don’t give a shit. If I was dead you could bang me all you want. I mean, who cares? A dead body is like a piece of trash. I mean, shove as much shit in there as you want. Fill me up with cream, make a stew out of my ass. What’s the big deal? Bang me, eat me, grind me up into little pieces, throw me in the river. Who gives a shit? You’re dead, you’re dead! Oh shit! Is my mic on?”
or another episode: “When I die, just throw me in the trash!”
Just thought it was funny to find people mirroring Frank Reynolds in real life… although I always pretty much agreed with him. I’m more concerned with how traumatizing it’d be for my family to see me in a ditch, and/or being filled with cream.
Your body is a resource. Don’t throw it away or bury it, give it to a gothy craftsman in exchange for half the jewelry made from it going to your family. It literally triples your chances of acquiring haunting privileges.
I told my wife that when I die, if she can, claim she doesn’t recognize the body so that the state has to dispose of me to save costs.
I love this so much lol.
I told my wife the same…repeatedly. We are Canadian though.
Air frying is just a convection cremation, you know.
also free snacks for the mourning
saves a ton on catering
Just fling me into a wood chipper, and point it at the ground in a field somewhere.
Failing that, I’ve always loved the idea of being strapped to a rocket and launched into space.
If all else fails, I’d like my family to perform a (mostly) shot-for-shot remake of the funeral scene from GoW: Ragnarok.
If all else fails, I’d like my family to perform a (mostly) shot-for-shot remake of the funeral scene from GoW: Ragnarok
Complete with ~Bear McCreary~ “Raeb” playing his hurdy-gurdy?
Of course, ideally it’d be Bear McCreary, but I’d settle for my wife learning to play it.
For when you need that last extra special grope of capitalism
Just shoot me out of a cannon
Fuck yeah! Don’t even wait until I’m dead.
I’ve made it very known that I wanna be thrown in to the woods to rot when I die.
In the mighty words of Danny devito, “when I’m dead, just throw me in the trash.”
Trash man!
Put me on the lawn so I can finally fertlize it like I said I would.
How big is the biggest rubbermaid tote?
A hacksaw and several smaller totes are cheaper.
Hell I’d be ok with someone just throwing me into a big blender then feeding me to some pigs or something.
You sure about that buddy ?
oh god that scp keeps me up at night
Yeah, it keep popping in mind from time to time. All we can do is hope it’s not what actually happens and move on or otherwise we’d become mad.
Just Kobe me into the nearest dumpster/landfill.
100% compostable
